Saturday, May 27, 2006

Radio Free Memphis

This post has been a long time coming. Over a month ago, you'll remember, I wrote a post about the longshot possibility of me being on the radio. Just to catch you up, a friend of a friend suggested I record some of these VERY (his word, his italics and all-caps, if I remember correctly) witty posts for NPR to be played in the days leading up to Father's Day. Long story short - read the post for yourself, it's VERY (my italics, my all-caps) witty. So here we are just over a month since then and I haven't heard boo from the contact at NPR, leading me to the only viable conclusion: that NPR - National Public Radio - hates children. Not just my children, but all children, your children. Hard to believe, I know. There is the possibility that the idea just didn't appeal to them, or that they didn't find Urf! as witty as we all do, or that they just couldn't juggle enough time slots in their production schedule for such bits, but that's all a very vague probability that we needn't waste time on just now. It's much easier to assume that NPR is full of kid haters. This is unfortunate because it's the kids who are their future listeners and it is they who NPR will eventually go to with their hands out when it's time for the annual Begging For Money.

Still I wonder, did The Trio somehow offend NPR? Is all the talk of boogers and farts (sorry, Mom - my Mom told me she didn't like that word, that it offended her, before hurrying me off the phone during a commercial break for American Idol, a show which offends me) and childhood antics too much for the delicate sensibilities of NPR's listeners? Well, now that I read that, it's possible that that's the case. Who wants to turn on the radio only to hear me say fart (sorry, Mom)? Who wants to hear a broadcast of JP singing a Beastie Boys song or S reciting most of the alphabet? Who? We do! So let's start an E-mail writing campaign! Just address it to...well, I can't find her name now, but send it directily to NPR at...okay, Google NPR for their address...and let's make a difference! Let's show them that our children are people, too. Maybe not people with money, not yet, not that I know of anyway, but people just the same - short little poor people. The producers and writers and Garrison Keillor will bow quickly under the pressure caused by the onslaught of E-mails from all 36.97 daily viewers to Urf!, unless 20 or so of those daily viewers are my Mom, as I suspect. But even then, she has all night to write E-mails now that she's boycotting NPR and American Idol, blessedly, is over for the season.

[Happy Birthday, Mom!
Happy Birthday, Nonna!]